


The Power of DreamWorks with Subtitles 'On'

by DrakeBorn



Series: Mad Scientists and Other Chaoticians [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Cracks a Smile, DreamWorks Movie References, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 17:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2780858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrakeBorn/pseuds/DrakeBorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has come back and was coping well enough.  Steve does the polite thing and takes him around for introductions.  Little does he know that his <em>oldest</em> friend and his newest friends have more in common than Steve realizes, like they did the "homework" Darcy assigned them.  Hilarity ensues at Steve's expense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Power of DreamWorks with Subtitles 'On'

**Author's Note:**

> Excerpt from a larger WIP fiction that just _does not_ come out in anything resembling linear order.

Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes entered the elevator car from the common floor.

Once the doors were solidly closed Barnes declared, “I don’t like labs.”

“Yeah, but these labs don’t look like labs.  Hell, you can’t _hear_ for the ‘rock’ music blaring from Tony’s lab.  And Jane and Bruce’s lab, well Bruce’s side you might just want to stay away from anyway, but the rest of it barely resembles ‘a lab.’  They’ve gotta big screen… their couches have real ottomans.   Their couches," Steve paused for effect, "Are real couches.”

“I don’t like the people who work in labs.”  Bucky was beginning to look like his ‘grumpy bear’ self.  (As Darcy would put it, of course.)

“Come on, half of ‘em are on the Avengers’ team.  And most of the rest are on the ‘friends and family’ plan.”

That phrasing got a look from Barnes.

“Yeah, I’m still learning the new jargon.  But I think I got most of that right.”  Rogers paused in thought.  “A word of warning when talking to Darcy: most of the rest of us at best understand only about half of what she says.  So, don’t worry if you find yourself searching for a translator; it is, technically, English, sort of.  Believe it or not, Tony or Thor work best in that department.”

After exiting the lift, the super-soldier duo walked through the doorway to the lab; Bucky's head on a swivel, eyes went every which way taking it all in.

“This is a lab?”

Rogers would be forever grateful that Darcy smiled in greeting as she said, “Astrophysics over there,” she’d pointed to her left, “And Bruce’s weird assortment of Everything Else that’s Science, over there.”

Rogers didn’t know where to begin, exactly. So…

“Hey, Darcy.  Uh, Darcy Lewis, Bucky Barnes.  Bucky, this is Darcy.”  Rogers felt nervous.  _And Darcy’s dumbfounded double-take wasn’t helping!_ But before Steve could ask what the issue was, Darcy spoke up.

“You are a real person, right?”

_What just happened?_

“Not one of those half-person, half-machine, you know, whatever you call those things.”  Darcy’s voice began taking on a slightly hysterical tone.

_This was going so wrong._

In a flat toned voice Bucky asked, “A cyborg?”

“Oh, no!  You’re a cyborg?!”  Darcy’s voice was shrill now.

Steve felt his soul drop.  _What just happened?  How could this have gone so wrong?  
_

Bucky’s face was expressionless, his tone flat when he remarked, “Madam, I assure you, I am not a cyborg.”

Suddenly, Steve heard feminine giggling and stifled snickers emanating from his right, the Astrophysics lab.  But, “The name is General W.R. Monger,” came from Bruce over on his left.

_What… the… hell?_

 

Dr. Banner walked over.  Had Steve really thought that James and Darcy have never met?  Too funny.

Steve looked as if he’d already been drained of blood; he was that white.  Bruce was tempted to still give him full points for trying to press onward.

“Ah, Dr. Banner, I’d like you to meet-”

Bruce never gave him a chance.

“Absolut no outsiders.  So wipe that Smirnoff your face and Popov.”  Bruce had recited it with his best _fake_ Russian accent.

With full inflection back in his voice, James replied, “Come on, man.  You gotta do one cat a solid.  Cat to cat.  Do a solid here, buddy.  Come on.”

Steve had looked crushed, just crushed, until Bucky’s reply.

Luckily, just then Jane’s chair decided it had had enough of her over balancing and gave up the ghost.  She landed in a heap of giggles on the floor.  Everyone was looking, but Bruce noticed Steve as he watched Thor exit quickly through the special access stairwell leading directly to Tony's lab.  His Darcy had done an exceedingly good job of educating everyone, except Captain America it seems, in all things Disney, Pixar, and DreamWorks.

 

Steve didn’t know what to do, where to start, or what just happened.  The fact that Thor left Jane to crumble to the floor told him something was up. ‘Cat to cat,’ puzzled him.  _But what just happened?_

When Dr. Foster had, arguably, recovered from a giggle fit (What?!?), she sat up straight and said, “Well, sugar, honey, ice, tea!” before being promptly struck, again, by a giggle fit.

Steve proclaimed, “Okay.  I’m missing something.”

Then Darcy caught his attention with a glare before accusing, “That's because you didn’t watch your homework like you _promised_ me you would.”  She'd begun punctuating her words with pokes to Steve’s abdomen.  “I know for a fact, Steven Grant Rogers, that your various cloud media accounts have ‘Monsters versus Aliens,’ ‘Madagascar,’ and Madagascar 3’ queued up.  Otherwise, this never would have happened,” all words punctuated with individual pokes.

Between shouts (because he didn’t squeal at being tickled, honest) Steve mulled over Darcy’s words.  Then he looked over at his lifelong ‘friend’ who apparently couldn’t contain his smirk anymore.  As the extensive truth dawned on him, Steve wanted so very much to go hide somewhere.  It was an impulse that he should have listened to, but didn’t.

Darcy was saying “Don’t ever doubt the power of Disney, but don’t exclude _the funny_ of DreamWorks, either,” just as Thor returned through the access stairwell, Tony and Natasha trailing, carrying three bottles.  He set them down on Darcy’s desk.

“Absolut, Smirnoff, and Popov,” announced Thor, one bottle suspiciously without its cork.

“You three have met before, haven’t you?”

“And you’ve never seen the Madagascar movies with the subtitles turned on, have you?” probed Natasha as she continued to eyeball the corkless Smirnoff.

Steve noticed the Cyrillic writing on the label.  “And you’re bumming off of Tony, again.”

Natasha hissed.  “My last good bottle went for a really noble cause, just not easily.  I miss it so much.”  The last was said with a half whine.

Bucky’s snicker caught Natasha’s attention.  She asked, “You were in on this?”

Looking mighty pleased with himself, and without an ounce of guilt, Bucky smiled and answered, “Absolutely.”

Steve knew it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> * The cyborg dialog is from "Monsters vs. Aliens."
> 
> * " **S** ugar, **H** oney, **I** ce, **T** ea" is from "Madagascar."
> 
> * “Absolut no outsiders. So wipe that Smirnoff your face and Popov,” is from Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted!


End file.
